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The Leadership Skill No One Talks About Enough: Receiving Feedback We often talk about how to give feedback as leaders.We rarely talk about how to receive it.And yet, the moment feedback lands — especially the uncomfortable kind — is one of the most defining moments in leadership.Because feedback does not usually feel neutral.It can feel vulnerable. It can feel threatening. It can feel like a personal attack.Even the most experienced leaders can feel that internal shift: a tightening in the chest, a rush of defensiveness, the immediate urge to explain, justify, or correct the narrative.This reaction is human.But what we do next is leadership.Why Feedback Feels So Personal Feedback challenges more than behaviour — it often touches identity.If I see myself as competent and capable, and someone questions my communication or my decision-making, it can feel like they are questioning me.Our ego steps in to protect us.We defend. We rationalise. We minimise.But emotionally intelligent leadership asks for something different.It asks us to pause.To separate who we are from what we did.To understand that feedback is not a verdict on our worth — it is information about impact.The Leaders Who Grow Have a Thirst for Feedback The strongest leaders I work with share a common trait:They actively seek feedback.Not because they enjoy discomfort. But because they understand a fundamental truth:Feedback is data. Feedback is perspective. Feedback is growth.They know that without feedback, there is no refinement. Without refinement, there is no development. Without development, leadership stagnates.Good leaders do not equate feedback with failure. They equate it with learning.They are curious rather than defensive. Open rather than reactive.That does not mean they do not feel triggered.It means they have developed the capacity to regulate their emotions long enough to extract the learning.Receiving Feedback Is an Emotional Intelligence Skill Receiving feedback well requires:Self-awareness — recognising your emotional reaction in real time Emotional regulation — choosing not to respond from ego or fear Empathy — understanding the perspective of the other person Accountability — owning your impact without collapsing into shame This is not weakness.This is maturity.And in today’s leadership landscape — where teams expect transparency, growth, and authenticity — this skill is non-negotiable.Transformational Leadership Begins with Self-Leadership If we cannot receive feedback, we cannot evolve.If we cannot evolve, we cannot lead transformation.Inside my upcoming <a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group">L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. Programme﻿</a> starting on 26th February, we will be working deeply on this.You will learn how to:Receive feedback without becoming defensive Regulate emotional reactions in the moment Separate identity from behaviour Turn challenging conversations into genuine leadership growth Because transformational leadership begins with leading yourself first.And sometimes, the most courageous leadership act is simply this:Listening. Without defending. Without attacking. Without shrinking.Just listening.And asking: What can I learn here? &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

The Leadership Skill No One Talks About Enough: Receiving Feedback

Portrait of beautiful blonde business woman having informal meeting with handsome man in formal-wear at office hall.

<figure id="figure-ugvtbqq017mid395ch"><img id="ugvtbqq017mid395ch" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/e3S2WKsf1o7GopjMwR9PesC3UXfC9uXXn4uoo8TgTt44zW1jCuyevjxAdTZWuLvh.jpeg" alt="Portrait of beautiful blonde business woman having informal meeting with handsome man in formal-wear at office hall." title="Portrait of beautiful blonde business woman having informal meeting with handsome man in formal-wear at office hall." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>In my coaching practice, I meet extraordinary professionals — intelligent, capable, experienced — who walk into their first session carrying a heavy and silent burden:“I’m not good enough.” “I’m not as capable as people think.” “One day they’ll realise I shouldn’t be here.”And the versions of this belief are endless.One client once told me, almost whispering: “I think they promoted me because the interviewer didn’t actually know who I was.”Another shared: “The only reason I got the job is because the other candidates were so bad. I feel like a temporary choice — like I’ll soon be replaced.”These are not junior professionals. These are smart, committed, highly skilled leaders — each with years of experience and a strong track record.Yet the inner narrative sounds the same: “I don’t deserve this.” “Others are better.” “I’m only here because of luck or a mistake.”This is imposter syndrome — and it shows up loudly in silence.&nbsp; What I See as a Coach Clients come to coaching believing their self-doubt is the truth.But self-doubt is not the truth. It’s a belief — often planted years ago, reinforced silently, and carried into every new opportunity.What’s remarkable is this:When we explore these beliefs together — when we trace them, challenge them, and hold them up to the light — every single client begins to see what was invisible before.They begin to notice evidence of their competence. They recall the praise they dismissed. They recognise the effort and discipline behind their achievements. They start replacing the old narrative with a more empowering one.Not because I give it to them, but because they discover it within themselves.&nbsp; A Shift Happens By the end of our work, the very same clients who once doubted their place begin to say things like:“I realise now how capable I actually am.”“I earned my position — I didn’t just fall into it.”“I’ve been minimising my strengths for years without realising.”Their presence changes. Their decision-making strengthens. Their self-leadership rises. And they stop comparing themselves to a world that wasn’t judging them in the first place.This shift is powerful — and it’s possible for anyone.&nbsp; What I Want You to Take Away If you have ever felt like you don’t deserve your role… If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “good enough”… If you’ve ever dismissed your achievements as luck…You’re not alone — and you’re not seeing the whole picture.Imposter syndrome doesn’t mean you are incapable. It means you are human.And with the right support, reflection, and tools, the beliefs holding you back can be rewritten into ones that lift you forward.My clients are proof of that. Every single one left stronger, clearer, and more grounded in who they truly are — not who their fears told them they were.And you can too.

When Beliefs Become Barriers: What Coaching Helps You See

There was a time — not so long ago — when I kept putting off a conversation. It wasn’t dramatic. No argument, no major conflict. Just tension. Subtle, unspoken, lingering.You know the kind.That quiet disconnect with someone you work closely with. When you smile, but something feels off. When a comment lands a bit too sharply — and you pretend it didn’t.I told myself: “It’s not worth bringing up.” “I don’t want to make things awkward.” “Maybe I’m overreacting.”But the truth is — I wasn’t overreacting. I was avoiding.&nbsp; Why do we do this? As leaders, we’re often told to be strong, composed, strategic. But not always real. And certainly not vulnerable.So we wait. We soften our words. We stay polite — and silently uncomfortable.But avoidance doesn’t protect relationships. It erodes them.&nbsp; What changed? Eventually, I had the conversation I was dreading. It was uncomfortable. I was nervous. But I prepared. I got clear on what mattered. And I led with honesty and care.And what happened?Relief. Understanding. And a stronger connection than before.Not because I was perfectly eloquent. But because I was willing to show up — as myself.&nbsp; What about you? What conversation are you putting off? What’s not being said in your team, your leadership, your life? And what would be possible if you had the courage to face it?&nbsp; In my <a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group">L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. Programme</a>, this is one of the most powerful turning points we explore — how to navigate difficult conversations and conflict with clarity, compassion, and confidence.Because leadership isn’t about avoiding the uncomfortable — it’s about walking through it, with intention.The next programme begins on the 22nd September, and this is one of the conversations we’ll have — together.👉<a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group"> Learn more here</a>It would be lovely to see you there,&nbsp; you won't be disappointed.WarmlyJohanna

The Conversation I Almost Didn’t Have

Leadership isn’t one-size-fits-all. And yet, many women find themselves defaulting to a familiar way of leading — often the one that’s brought them success so far. But what happens when that style no longer works in a new environment, with a new team, or under a new kind of pressure?That’s where leadership adaptability comes in.&nbsp; You Don’t Need to Be Just One Kind of Leader Many of us carry a belief that we have to choose a “style” and stick with it — whether that’s collaborative, directive, empowering, or strategic. But real leadership isn’t rigid. It’s dynamic.What if your strength is being empathetic — but your team is craving clarity and direction? Or you're naturally hands-off — but a crisis demands you step in and take charge?The most effective leaders don’t abandon who they are. They expand their range — learning to flex, shift, and respond with intention rather than habit.&nbsp; Leading with Self-Awareness In my coaching work, one of the most powerful insights for participants is this:“I didn’t realise how much I default to one style — and how freeing it is to know I have options.” Becoming aware of your preferred style — and recognising how it lands with others — is a game-changer. It’s not about changing who you are. It’s about choosing how you show up, based on what the moment calls for.That’s real leadership maturity.&nbsp; Adaptability Without Losing Yourself Adapting your leadership doesn’t mean becoming someone you’re not. It means intentionally expanding the tools in your toolbox so you can lead across different personalities, challenges, and cultures.It’s the difference between reacting and responding. Between operating on autopilot — and leading with awareness.One woman recently told me:“For the first time, I see how I can lead with flexibility — without feeling like I’m faking it.” &nbsp; Explore Your Leadership Style If you’re curious about how your natural leadership style shows up — and how to strengthen your adaptability without compromising who you are — this is the kind of work we explore in the L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. Group Programme.It’s a six-session group coaching experience designed to help women lead with greater presence, purpose, and personal impact.The next round starts in September, and I’d love to have you join us. We have an early bird discount until 31st August.&nbsp; <a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group">Click to read</a> more about the programme.&nbsp;Warmly,Johanna

Expanding Your Range: Adapting Your Leadership Style with Confidence

Female speaker leading motivational seminar for diverse group in modern conference room

Leading with Integrity: How Your Values and Beliefs Shape Your Decisions What makes a decision feel right?Not just strategically sound, or acceptable to others — but deeply aligned, rooted in something you can stand behind with conviction?The answer often lies in something we rarely stop to examine: 👉 Our personal values and beliefs.Why do Values Matter in Leadership?Our values are our compass. They help us navigate complexity, stay grounded under pressure, and lead in a way that feels authentic — even when the path ahead isn’t clear.When you’re connected to your core values, decision-making becomes more purposeful. You’re no longer pulled in a hundred directions trying to meet expectations — you’re anchored. You say yes when it aligns. You say no when it doesn’t. And you can explain both with clarity and calm.But when values are unclear — or worse, compromised — decisions feel heavy. Doubt creeps in. Burnout follows. And we lose touch with the kind of leader we truly want to be.&nbsp; The Invisible Force: Your Beliefs Just as powerful as your values are the beliefs operating beneath the surface.Some of these are empowering:“I am resourceful.” “It’s okay to take up space.” “I can lead in my own way.” Others — often internalised long ago — quietly sabotage us:“I need to prove myself to be taken seriously.” “If I disappoint someone, I’ve failed.” “I’m not ready yet.” These beliefs shape how we interpret challenges, how we show up in the room, and how we lead under pressure.The good news? Beliefs can be challenged. And they can be reframed into something more honest, more compassionate, and far more useful.&nbsp; The Integrity Sweet Spot When your values and beliefs are aligned, something powerful happens.You make decisions more easily. You stop second-guessing. You lead in a way that feels like you.This is what leading with integrity looks like — not perfection, but inner alignment. And the ripple effect it has on your team, your confidence, and your overall wellbeing is significant.&nbsp; Ready to Explore This in Your Own Leadership?If this resonates with you, it’s exactly the kind of reflection we explore in our L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. Programme — a six-session group coaching experience designed for women who want to lead with clarity, confidence, and purpose.We look at what drives your leadership, what might be holding you back, and how to make decisions that feel values-led and courageous.The next programme begins in September. 👉 You can read more about the programme <a href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group" data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group">HERE</a>,&nbsp; or feel free to reach out directly — I’d love to hear from you.&nbsp; &nbsp;

Leading with Integrity: How Your Values and Beliefs Shape Your Decisions

LEADERSHIP, SUPPORTIVE, VISIONARY, EMPOWERING and EMPATHETIC text on wooden blocks. Leadership concept.

<h2>Understanding Emotional Intelligence</h2>In today's rapidly evolving business landscape, the importance of emotional intelligence (EI) in leadership cannot be overstated. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It's a critical skill for leaders aiming to inspire and motivate their teams effectively.Leaders with high emotional intelligence are adept at recognising emotional cues and responding appropriately. They have an acute awareness of how their words and actions impact team dynamics, which is essential for fostering a positive work environment.<figure id="figure-ked4g90y7qmbktohao"><img id="ked4g90y7qmbktohao" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/2feamFS2MznQ0zNC5n9tb9rODvoWowBqaw8CBrn7xzqSeZO5RYg2s7F9AEbs5uV7.jpeg" alt="emotional intelligence" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/2feamFS2MznQ0zNC5n9tb9rODvoWowBqaw8CBrn7xzqSeZO5RYg2s7F9AEbs5uV7.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Key Components of Emotional Intelligence</h2>Emotional intelligence is often broken down into several key components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Each component plays a crucial role in effective leadership:<ol><li>Self-awareness: The ability to recognise and understand personal moods and emotions.</li><li>Self-regulation: Managing emotions and expressing them appropriately.</li><li>Motivation: Harnessing emotions to pursue goals with energy and persistence.</li><li>Empathy: Understanding the feelings of others and considering them when making decisions.</li><li>Social skills: Building networks, managing relationships, and inspiring others.</li></ol><h3>The Impact on Team Performance</h3>Leaders who excel in emotional intelligence are often more successful in building strong, cohesive teams. By fostering trust and open communication, these leaders create an environment where team members feel valued and heard. This can lead to increased engagement, higher productivity, and improved morale.<figure id="figure-ahyum6bvs9mbktotyz"><img id="ahyum6bvs9mbktotyz" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/4T7DtDCvy8a0CYlv6IgGLzaS4ND2h0MLQSQhB3KeRHGP0b7DmtcbcFutu6gcaBfQ.jpeg" alt="team collaboration" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/4T7DtDCvy8a0CYlv6IgGLzaS4ND2h0MLQSQhB3KeRHGP0b7DmtcbcFutu6gcaBfQ.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Developing Emotional Intelligence in Leadership</h2>Developing emotional intelligence is a continuous journey that involves self-reflection and practice. Leaders can enhance their EI through several strategies:<ul><li>Seek feedback: Regularly ask for feedback from peers and team members to understand how your emotional responses are perceived.</li><li>Practice mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises to enhance self-awareness and emotional regulation.</li><li>Cultivate empathy: Actively listen to understand the perspectives and feelings of others.</li></ul>By committing to these practices, leaders can sharpen their emotional intelligence skills and apply them effectively in their roles.<h3>The Future of Leadership with Emotional Intelligence</h3>As the business world continues to change, the role of emotional intelligence in leadership will only grow in importance. Organisations that prioritize EI in their leadership development programs are likely to see significant benefits in terms of employee satisfaction, retention, and overall performance.<figure id="figure-cvbv6tk2embktp0sn"><img id="cvbv6tk2embktp0sn" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/ewuTbzadVLytUDYezvNbtHYHNEvrXQni0msrmks62AimTJFRC2y52uH3eGsBTL10.jpeg" alt="leadership future" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/ewuTbzadVLytUDYezvNbtHYHNEvrXQni0msrmks62AimTJFRC2y52uH3eGsBTL10.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure>Investing in emotional intelligence is not just about improving individual leaders; it’s about shaping a culture that values empathy, understanding, and effective communication. This cultural shift can lead to more resilient organisations capable of navigating future challenges with agility and grace.Ultimately, emotional intelligence is a powerful tool for leaders who wish to inspire change and drive success. By focusing on developing their EI skills, leaders can create lasting impacts within their teams and organizations.If you’re curious about how emotionally intelligent leadership could transform your impact, I invite you to <a data-mce-href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session" href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session">book a free call</a>. As a certified emotional intelligence assessor and coach, I’d be happy to explore how this could support your growth or your organisation’s goals.

The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Effective Leadership

Johanna Parnis England

Hi, I’m Johanna, a Senior Executive and Leadership Coach, I work with professionals who want to change the way they lead — starting with themselves.

My background is in business, not theory. I grew up in a fourth-generation family enterprise and spent over three decades leading in complex, high-pressure environments. That experience shapes how I coach: practical, grounded, and focused on real-world leadership challenges. 

I am really passionate about professional self-development and focus on working with clients to build on their confidence, self-belief, self-worth, emotional Intelligence and purpose.  My services are 1:1 coaching and group coaching programmes.

Blog

The Leadership Skill No One Talks About Enough: Receiving...

When Beliefs Become Barriers: What Coaching Helps You See

The Conversation I Almost Didn’t Have

Expanding Your Range: Adapting Your Leadership Style with...

Leading with Integrity: How Your Values and Beliefs Shape...

The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Effective Leadership