I know I can do More, But.....
There is a sentence I hear quite often in my coaching conversations and leadership programmes:
“I know I can do more, but…”
Recently, during one of my Women’s Leadership Programme sessions, a participant expressed this feeling very clearly.
She was doing well in her career. She knew she was capable. She was satisfied with what she was doing and knew that she was doing a good job.
But there was still that feeling:
I could do more.
And then came the but.
But progressing may mean working longer hours.
But further study takes time.
But there is a family to think about.
But there are already so many demands competing for attention.
I think this is a challenge many women will recognise.
It isn’t necessarily a lack of ambition. And it isn’t always a lack of confidence.
Sometimes you know you are capable of more. You may even know what you would like to do next.
The difficulty is understanding how that next step fits with everything else that matters to you.
When two important things compete.
During our conversation, one of the participant’s strongest values was family.
At the same time, success and satisfaction were also important to her.
And there was the tension.
She wanted to grow professionally, but she didn’t want that growth to come at the expense of something else she deeply valued.
This is where I believe we can become stuck.
We start looking at the situation as an either/or decision.
My career or my family.
Progress or balance.
Ambition or being present for the people who matter to me.
And when neither option feels completely right, sometimes we do nothing.
We postpone.
We revisit the same idea six months later.
We tell ourselves that perhaps now isn't the right time.
And gradually, “I know I can do more” becomes something we carry around with us rather than something we explore.
What is really holding you back? This is one of the reasons I value coaching so much.
Coaching doesn't tell you which decision to make.
I don't tell someone to apply for the promotion, enrol for the degree, change career or stay exactly where they are.
The decision belongs to them.
What coaching does is create the space to step away from the noise and look more closely at what is really going on.
Because the thing we initially believe is holding us back isn't always the whole story.
There may be practical constraints.
There may be competing values.
There may be beliefs about what career progression has to look like.
There may be assumptions about what we would have to give up.
And there may be fears sitting quietly underneath all of those things.
When we are busy living our lives, we don't always give ourselves the time or space to separate one from the other.
Clarity before action
I often talk about self-leadership in my work, and for me this is a very important part of it.
Before asking:
“What should I do?”
perhaps there are other questions that need our attention.
What do I really want?
What matters to me now?
What am I no longer prepared to compromise?
And what is behind the but in:
“I know I can do more, but…”?
Coaching doesn't remove all the realities of work, family, time and responsibility.
But it can help us understand our choices more clearly.
And sometimes that clarity is what allows us to stop circling around the same decision and begin moving forward in a way that feels right for us.
So perhaps the question isn't simply:
“Could I do more?”
You may already know the answer to that.
Perhaps the more interesting question is:
What is stopping me from finding out?
Ready to explore your own “but…”?
Perhaps you’re thinking about a career change, preparing for your next promotion, considering starting your own business, or simply feeling that you are capable of more but aren’t quite sure what your next step should be.In my
My 1:1 Leadership Coaching gives you the space to step away from the day-to-day noise and focus on you — where you are now, where you want to go, and what may be getting in the way.
Together, we create the clarity and self-awareness you need to make your own decisions with greater confidence and move forward with purpose.
If you recognise yourself in “I know I can do more, but…”, perhaps it’s time to explore what comes after the but.
Get in touch with me to book a discovery call and let’s talk about where you want to go next.
Warmly,
Johanna