Managing Your Emotions During Extreme Pressure at Work Post
Your Leadership Triggers Are Not Your Weakness
One of the most powerful exercises we explored during this week's group leadership programme was identifying our personal leadership triggers.
Every leader has them.
The situations that instantly change how we think, feel or behave.
Sometimes it's being challenged.
Sometimes it's conflict.
Sometimes it's feeling unsupported.
Sometimes it's when things don't go according to plan.
The interesting part isn't the trigger itself.
It's what happens next.
As each participant reflected on a recent leadership experience, different patterns began to emerge.
One recognised a tendency to raise her voice during conflict.
Another noticed withdrawing and replaying conversations long after they had ended.
Someone else realised she avoided difficult situations altogether, hoping they would simply disappear.
Different behaviours.
Different personalities.
Yet the same underlying process.
When we feel threatened, criticised or overwhelmed, our emotional brain reacts instinctively. Before we know it, we're reacting rather than responding. This is what psychologist Daniel Goleman refers to as an emotional hijack.
During the session, I shared a metaphor that I often use to explain this.
Imagine a lion and its trainer.
The lion represents the emotional part of our brain. It is powerful, instinctive and reacts quickly.
The trainer represents the logical, thinking part of our brain.
If you asked who is stronger, the answer would be the lion.
But who is in control?
The trainer.
Not because the trainer is stronger, but because over time they have built trust, earned respect and learned how to guide the lion rather than fight against it.
Our brains work in much the same way.
Our emotions are incredibly powerful. We cannot stop ourselves from feeling them, nor should we. But we can strengthen the logical part of our brain so that it guides our emotional responses instead of being overwhelmed by them.
That training begins with emotional intelligence.
First, we recognise what we're feeling.
Then we understand what the emotion is trying to tell us.
Finally, we learn how to manage our response so that our emotions inform our decisions rather than control them.
One thing I always remind my clients is this:
Your trigger is not your weakness.
It is information.
It is pointing towards something that matters.
Perhaps a value.
Perhaps an unmet emotional need.
Perhaps an old belief that no longer serves you.
When we become curious instead of critical, those same triggers become opportunities for growth.
Emotional intelligence isn't about becoming emotionless.
It's about becoming more intentional.
The leaders who make the greatest impact aren't the ones who never feel frustrated, anxious or overwhelmed.
They're the ones who have learned to recognise those emotions, understand them, and choose how they respond.
In my next blog I'll write about how emotional intelligence can support you setting boundaries.
Warmly,
Johanna
Learn more about how emotional intelligence can support your leadership growth?
Further reading:
Goleman, Boyatzis & McKee
Primal Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance (Harvard Business Review)