Why Do Working Mothers Feel Guilty?
For many years, guilt felt like a constant companion.
It often started as a burning pit in my stomach whenever somebody made a comment—sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly—about me working whilst raising my children.
The comment itself could be small, but the effect wasn't.
Almost instantly, I would find myself overthinking. Questioning myself. Doubting myself.
Was I doing the right thing?
Was I spending enough time with my children?
Was I being selfish?
Was I somehow a bad mother?
Yet at the same time, there was something deep inside me that knew I needed to work.
Work gave me fulfilment.
It gave me a sense of purpose.
It challenged me intellectually.
It allowed me to contribute and grow.
Most importantly, it gave me a sense of personal worth.
The interesting thing is that I also loved being a mother.
I genuinely enjoyed spending time with my children and treasured the moments we shared together.
I never felt I had to choose between wanting a career and wanting a family.
I wanted both.
In fact, I often felt that being a working mother made me a fuller, more complete person, and ultimately a better mother.
Yet the guilt remained.
What I eventually realised was that guilt was coming at me from both directions.
I felt guilty when I was working.
And I felt guilty when I wasn't.
If I was at work, I worried about not being at home.
If I was at home during the day whilst everyone else was in the office, I felt guilty about not working.
Whichever way I turned, guilt seemed to be staring back at me.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether guilt is an emotion that many women are almost expected to carry.
Society often sends subtle messages about what a "good mother" should do, how much time she should spend with her children, how available she should be, and how much she should sacrifice.
It can leave women feeling that no matter what choice they make, it isn't quite enough.
Over time, I began to ask a different question.
Instead of asking, "How do I get rid of the guilt?" I started asking, "What is this guilt trying to tell me?"
The answer wasn't immediate, but eventually I discovered something important.
My answer to guilt was presence.
When I was with my children, I learned to be fully present with them.
When I was at work, I learned to be fully present at work.
I stopped trying to be in two places at once.
I stopped allowing guilt to constantly pull my attention towards where I wasn't.
Because guilt has a way of pulling us away from the present moment.
Presence brings us back.
Back to the people in front of us.
Back to the conversations we are having.
Back to the moments we are actually living.
That shift changed a great deal for me.
Not because the guilt disappeared completely, but because it stopped controlling my attention and my energy.
Today, as a leadership and executive coach, I see many women facing similar challenges.
Some struggle with guilt.
Others struggle with boundaries, confidence, self-doubt, overwhelm, competing priorities, or the pressure of trying to succeed in multiple roles at once.
There is no single answer because every woman's journey is different.
That is why my coaching programmes are tailored to the individual.
Through one-to-one coaching, we explore the challenges that are most relevant to you, helping you develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence, confidence, and clarity.
For those who prefer learning alongside others, my group programmes create a supportive environment where women can share experiences, learn from one another, and realise they are not alone in the challenges they face.
Because sometimes the most powerful realisation is this:
You are not the only woman who has ever felt this way.
And perhaps the journey is not about eliminating guilt altogether.
Perhaps it is about learning how to return to the present moment, again and again, and trusting that you are doing the very best you can.
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