My first encounter with burnout and its early symptoms
Not everyone's burnout symptoms are the same
Not such a long time ago, I started hearing the word burnout more and more.
I became curious to understand what people really meant when they spoke about it because, truthfully, I wasn’t entirely sure I understood it myself.
The more I listened, the more I realised that burnout can mean different things to different people.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all definition.
At the same time, I also began to understand that the drivers behind burnout can often be very similar.
And so can the type of person who experiences it.
My first signs of burnout
I started seeing it more and more in my coaching clients.
Women who are deeply passionate about their work.
Women who want purpose and meaning in life.
Driven women.
Ambitious women.
Efficient, capable, caring women.
Very often, they find it difficult to let go.
To delegate.
To release control.
The thing about burnout is that you do not suddenly wake up one morning burnt out.
It creeps up on you slowly.
Quietly.
You keep taking on more work.
Looking after your team.
Your family.
Your friends.
You tell yourself:
“This is just who I am.”
“I’m a doer.”
“I can handle it.”
And so you keep pushing harder and harder.
Taking on more and more.
At the same time, you slowly begin neglecting yourself.
You stop making time for the things that matter to you.
You don’t go to the gym anymore.
You stop meeting friends for coffee.
You don’t spend quality time with your family or your partner.
Yet from the outside, everything still seems to be working like clockwork.
On the inside symptoms of nervous exhaustion
Until one day, something shifts within you.
You suddenly feel lonely.
Tired.
Unmotivated.
Sad.
You begin asking yourself:
“What is all of this for?”
Everything that once gave you meaning and motivation suddenly feels empty.
You feel purposeless.
Like a sailing boat without a rudder.
You begin questioning yourself.
The people around you.
Life itself.
And what is frightening is how quickly it can happen.
Almost from one day to the next.
As I started learning more about burnout, I realised that I had experienced it many times in my own life without ever truly acknowledging it.
Without recognising the signs.
Without pausing to understand what was happening inside me.
Without talking about it.
I realise now that one of my first experiences with burnout happened during my divorce.
At that time, I was working full-time while also being the full-time caregiver for my children.
I desperately wanted to be that “super mum” who could do it all.
Looking back today, I realise I must have had what I would describe as a mini breakdown.
But I never shared how I was feeling with anyone.
I didn’t ask for support.
I didn’t reach out.
I didn’t feel I had anyone I could truly talk to.
I felt incredibly lonely and isolated.
I was ashamed of how I felt.
I wanted to appear strong.
Capable.
Like I could carry the world on my shoulders.
And in many ways, I did.
But at the same time, I completely neglected myself.
I ignored my feelings.
I pushed through exhaustion.
I disconnected from my own needs.
I realise now that I simply did not know how to take care of myself.
That was my first — but not my only — experience with burnout.
What I have learned since then is that so many of us make the mistake of pretending that we are holding everything together.
The smiles.
The laughter.
The happy photos.
Yet behind those smiles, there can be suffering.
Loneliness.
Exhaustion.
Longing.
Today, my message to myself and to others is this:
Balance work life and personal life
Reach out.
Put yourself first sometimes.
Because if you truly want to be that “super mum,” that successful professional, that strong leader — then you must learn how to take care of yourself too.
Invest in yourself.
Leadership coaching supports you to balance career and family
Get support.
Speak to someone.
Work with a coach you genuinely connect with.
Someone you feel safe enough to share your real inner world with.
Share.
Talk.
Open up.
And allow someone to help you reconnect with yourself again.
The version of you who understands that looking after yourself is not selfish.
The version of you who realises that when you care for yourself properly, you become far more capable of showing up as the best version of yourself for everyone else around you.
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