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Two women engaged in focused coaching conversation at modern table with tablet and notes in bright, naturally-lit space

<h3>How Emotional Intelligence Helps When You're Under Pressure at Work</h3> One of the core competencies of emotional intelligence is learning the skill of recognising and understanding our emotions when they show up. In this post, I want to focus on recognising our emotions, because this is the very first step.To recognise an emotion, we first need to feel it in our body. When that disturbance arrives, instead of reacting automatically, we pause and observe. Where am I feeling this? Is it in my stomach? In my chest? Around my heart? In my head? Where exactly is it showing up?Once you've noticed where you are feeling it, ask yourself: What emotion am I actually experiencing? Is it hurt? Is it intimidation? Jealousy? Anxiety? Fear?Simply naming the emotion helps us to see it more objectively. It creates a small but important distance between the emotion and ourselves, allowing us to observe it rather than become consumed by it. This is the beginning of developing emotional intelligence.The next time you notice an emotional reaction, perhaps you're sitting in a meeting and someone says something that catches you off guard, or you're having a conversation with a colleague and something they say creates a disturbance inside you, pause for a moment. Notice what is happening within you. Is your chest tightening? Is your heart beating faster? Do you feel a hot flush rising through your body? Is there a knot in your stomach or a heaviness in your chest?Before doing anything else, simply ask yourself: What emotion am I feeling right now?This is where emotional intelligence begins—not by changing the emotion or trying to make it disappear, but by recognising that it is there.In my next blog, I'll explore the second part of this process: understanding what your emotions are trying to tell you, the message they carry, and why learning to listen to them can transform the way you lead under pressure.My coaching <a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/women-leadership" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/women-leadership" target="_blank" rel="noopener">1:1 programs</a> and <a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Group Leadership Programs</a> focus on helping you develop your emotional intelligence (EI)&nbsp; by teaching you tools and strategies so that it becomes one of your core leadership pillars to support you to lead with clarity, calmness and confidence.Warmly,Johanna<a data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DWBgt0kjFqv/?hl=en" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DWBgt0kjFqv/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">What is my anxiety saying to me?</a><a data-mce-href="https://hbr.org/2015/04/how-emotional-intelligence-became-a-key-leadership-skill" href="https://hbr.org/2015/04/how-emotional-intelligence-became-a-key-leadership-skill" target="_blank" rel="noopener">HBR: How Emotional Intelligence became a leadership skill.</a>

How Emotional Intelligence Helps When You're Under Pressure at Work

Two mature professional women in confidential coaching session at wooden table, engaging in focused discussion with natural window light

Let's be truthful—career change is scary.We fear the unknown. We wonder whether we're going to be good enough. We listen to that inner voice that sometimes pops up and tells us we're probably not going to succeed, that we're going to fail.Then come the questions from other people."Why do you want to change something that's going so well?""Why change a winning team?"Those closest to us remind us how hard we worked to get where we are today. They remember the struggles, the sacrifices, the long hours, the setbacks we overcame."You've worked so hard to get here. Are you really going to throw it all away?"And yet, despite all of that, something deep inside keeps whispering that it's time.Time for something new.Time for fresh challenges.Time to step outside your comfort zone and discover what else you are capable of.The interesting thing is that the very reasons people give you for staying are often the reasons you know you can make the change.You've done hard things before.You've faced challenges before.You've fought for opportunities, pushed through setbacks, and found a way forward.You know how resilient you are.You know your values. You know what matters most to you. And ultimately, you are the only person who truly understands why this change feels important.You don't need everyone else to understand it.You need to understand it.I've been in that place myself.I've faced adversity. I've stepped into the unknown when there were no guarantees and no clear roadmap.Looking back, I can see how much I grew because of those decisions.I believe I am a more grounded person because of the changes I have made. A better partner. A better mother. A better friend, daughter, and sister.At the time, I didn't know exactly how things would turn out.But I did know one thing.Deep down inside, I knew I would be alright.I trusted myself.And sometimes, that is the confidence we need—not certainty about the outcome, but confidence in our ability to handle whatever comes next.This is exactly the work we do in coaching—exploring what is driving the desire for change, challenging the beliefs that hold you back, and building the confidence to step into the unknown with greater clarity and trust in yourself.<a data-mce-href="https://hbr.org/podcast/2025/08/make-a-mid-career-industry-change-with-confidence" href="https://hbr.org/podcast/2025/08/make-a-mid-career-industry-change-with-confidence" target="_blank" rel="noopener">HBR: Make a mid-career change with confidence</a><a data-mce-href="1:1%20Leadership%20Coaching" href="1:1%20Leadership%20Coaching" target="_blank" rel="noopener">1:1 Leadership Coaching&nbsp;﻿</a><a href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be">Step into the leader you want to be</a>

How to Navigate Career Change with Confidence

For many years, guilt felt like a constant companion.It often started as a burning pit in my stomach whenever somebody made a comment—sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly—about me working whilst raising my children.The comment itself could be small, but the effect wasn't.Almost instantly, I would find myself overthinking. Questioning myself. Doubting myself.Was I doing the right thing?Was I spending enough time with my children?Was I being selfish?Was I somehow a bad mother?Yet at the same time, there was something deep inside me that knew I needed to work.Work gave me fulfilment.It gave me a sense of purpose.It challenged me intellectually.It allowed me to contribute and grow.Most importantly, it gave me a sense of personal worth.The interesting thing is that I also loved being a mother.I genuinely enjoyed spending time with my children and treasured the moments we shared together.I never felt I had to choose between wanting a career and wanting a family.I wanted both.In fact, I often felt that being a working mother made me a fuller, more complete person, and ultimately a better mother.Yet the guilt remained.What I eventually realised was that guilt was coming at me from both directions.I felt guilty when I was working.And I felt guilty when I wasn't.If I was at work, I worried about not being at home.If I was at home during the day whilst everyone else was in the office, I felt guilty about not working.Whichever way I turned, guilt seemed to be staring back at me.Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether guilt is an emotion that many women are almost expected to carry.Society often sends subtle messages about what a "good mother" should do, how much time she should spend with her children, how available she should be, and how much she should sacrifice.It can leave women feeling that no matter what choice they make, it isn't quite enough.Over time, I began to ask a different question.Instead of asking, "How do I get rid of the guilt?" I started asking, "What is this guilt trying to tell me?"The answer wasn't immediate, but eventually I discovered something important.My answer to guilt was presence.When I was with my children, I learned to be fully present with them.When I was at work, I learned to be fully present at work.I stopped trying to be in two places at once.I stopped allowing guilt to constantly pull my attention towards where I wasn't.Because guilt has a way of pulling us away from the present moment.Presence brings us back.Back to the people in front of us.Back to the conversations we are having.Back to the moments we are actually living.That shift changed a great deal for me.Not because the guilt disappeared completely, but because it stopped controlling my attention and my energy.Today, as a leadership and executive coach, I see many women facing similar challenges.Some struggle with guilt.Others struggle with boundaries, confidence, self-doubt, overwhelm, competing priorities, or the pressure of trying to succeed in multiple roles at once.There is no single answer because every woman's journey is different.That is why my coaching programmes are tailored to the individual.Through one-to-one coaching, we explore the challenges that are most relevant to you, helping you develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence, confidence, and clarity.For those who prefer learning alongside others, my group programmes create a supportive environment where women can share experiences, learn from one another, and realise they are not alone in the challenges they face.Because sometimes the most powerful realisation is this:You are not the only woman who has ever felt this way.And perhaps the journey is not about eliminating guilt altogether.Perhaps it is about learning how to return to the present moment, again and again, and trusting that you are doing the very best you can.<a title="Why do we expect working moms to feel guilty?" href="https://positivepsychologynews.com/news/frawn-morgan/2024061152978?utm_source=chatgpt.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-mce-href="https://positivepsychologynews.com/news/frawn-morgan/2024061152978?utm_source=chatgpt.com">Positive Psychology News</a> &nbsp; &nbsp;<a title="1:1 Women Leadership Coaching" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/women-leadership" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/women-leadership">1:1 Women Leadership Coaching</a><a title="The Leadership Group Program" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/work-with-me/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be">The Leadership Group Program</a> &nbsp;<a title="Watch this" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DZUeilFuNJ_/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DZUeilFuNJ_/?hl=en">Why do working mums feel guilty </a>

Why Do Working Mothers Feel Guilty?

Why Personal Self-Development Became my Lifelong PassionWhen people ask me why I am so passionate about personal self-development, leadership, and education, I often smile because the answer goes back much further than my coaching career.It goes all the way back to when I finished school.Like many young people, I wanted to go to university. I was curious, ambitious, and eager to continue learning. I loved studying and was excited about what the future might hold.When I raised the subject with my parents, however, the answer was a firm no.The reason?I was told that if I went to university, I would be too old to find a husband by the time I graduated.Looking back now, it sounds almost unbelievable. In fact, it makes me laugh.But it is the honest truth.For those reading this from a younger generation, you may be wondering why I needed my parents' permission at all.The reality is that the world was very different then.As a non-British student, university fees in the UK were expensive. University in Malta was not a straightforward option either. There were different rules, quotas, sponsorship arrangements, and barriers that made access much more complicated than it is today.In the end, we reached a compromise.I was "allowed" to spend one year in London studying History of Art before returning to Malta.At the time, I accepted the decision. Looking back, I realise that although a particular educational path was closed to me, something else was beginning.What I didn't know then was that learning would become a lifelong pursuit.If I couldn't follow the traditional route, I would find my own.Over the years, I attended courses, gained qualifications, completed professional certifications, worked with coaches and mentors, attended workshops, and immersed myself in books, podcasts, and articles.I became fascinated not only by business and leadership but by people.I wanted to understand what drives us, what holds us back, how we navigate adversity, why some people thrive through change while others struggle, and how we can continue to grow throughout our lives.I learned from entrepreneurs, leaders, psychologists, coaches, and ordinary people with extraordinary stories.Every course taught me something.Every book offered a new perspective.Every conversation expanded my thinking.Some lessons helped me solve practical business problems. Others challenged beliefs I had carried for years. Many gave me the confidence to take on opportunities I might otherwise have avoided.Looking back now, I can see that personal self-development shaped every stage of my career.It helped me navigate leadership roles, manage complex challenges, build resilience, develop confidence, and ultimately make one of the biggest transitions of my life — becoming a coach.Perhaps the irony is that although I never followed the university path I originally wanted, I never stopped learning.In many ways, education became a lifelong journey rather than a destination.Today, that experience continues to influence the work I do.It is one of the reasons I am so passionate about supporting the growth and development of others, particularly women.While opportunities have changed significantly since I was a young woman, I believe there is still much work to be done.Many women continue to face challenges around confidence, visibility, self-belief, leadership progression, balancing competing demands, and recognising their own capabilities.That is why I have created women leadership programmes focused on supporting women to grow, develop, and step more fully into their leadership and potential.Because I know first-hand how powerful learning can be.One course can change your thinking.One conversation can change your direction.One new perspective can change your future.And sometimes, the opportunities we create for ourselves become even more valuable than the ones we thought we had lost.This is only part of the story.But it is where my lifelong passion for learning began.<a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group-2" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/leadership-women-group-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Women's Leadership Programme</a><a data-mce-href="https://www.thetimes.com/business/entrepreneurs/article/dont-be-afraid-to-be-ambitious-whatever-that-looks-like-for-you-enterprise-network-gk9z63frn" href="https://www.thetimes.com/business/entrepreneurs/article/dont-be-afraid-to-be-ambitious-whatever-that-looks-like-for-you-enterprise-network-gk9z63frn" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Don't be afraid to be ambitious&nbsp;</a>Warmly,Johanna

Why Personal Self-Development Became my Lifelong Passion

<h3>Not everyone's burnout symptoms are the same</h3>Not such a long time ago, I started hearing the word burnout more and more.I became curious to understand what people really meant when they spoke about it because, truthfully, I wasn’t entirely sure I understood it myself.The more I listened, the more I realised that burnout can mean different things to different people. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all definition.At the same time, I also began to understand that the drivers behind burnout can often be very similar. And so can the type of person who experiences it.<h3>My first signs of burnout</h3><figure id="figure-k0lpo9xhsmpfivpd7"><img id="k0lpo9xhsmpfivpd7" src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/28kK8iGoBRdu675ITqYPlJvtNXZs2kge3apZJ4FwFqto8zNs8FfWlQ2JpK1yknUh.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: 20% 20%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="20%" data-positiony="20%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/covers/28kK8iGoBRdu675ITqYPlJvtNXZs2kge3apZJ4FwFqto8zNs8FfWlQ2JpK1yknUh.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: 20% 20%;"></figure>I started seeing it more and more in my coaching clients.Women who are deeply passionate about their work. Women who want purpose and meaning in life. Driven women. Ambitious women. Efficient, capable, caring women.Very often, they find it difficult to let go. To delegate. To release control.The thing about burnout is that you do not suddenly wake up one morning burnt out.It creeps up on you slowly. Quietly.You keep taking on more work. Looking after your team. Your family. Your friends.You tell yourself: “This is just who I am.” “I’m a doer.” “I can handle it.”And so you keep pushing harder and harder. Taking on more and more.At the same time, you slowly begin neglecting yourself.You stop making time for the things that matter to you. You don’t go to the gym anymore. You stop meeting friends for coffee. You don’t spend quality time with your family or your partner.Yet from the outside, everything still seems to be working like clockwork.<h3>On the inside symptoms of nervous exhaustion&nbsp;&nbsp;</h3>Until one day, something shifts within you.You suddenly feel lonely. Tired. Unmotivated. Sad.You begin asking yourself: “What is all of this for?”Everything that once gave you meaning and motivation suddenly feels empty. You feel purposeless. Like a sailing boat without a rudder.You begin questioning yourself. The people around you. Life itself.And what is frightening is how quickly it can happen. Almost from one day to the next.As I started learning more about burnout, I realised that I had experienced it many times in my own life without ever truly acknowledging it.Without recognising the signs. Without pausing to understand what was happening inside me. Without talking about it.I realise now that one of my first experiences with burnout happened during my divorce.At that time, I was working full-time while also being the full-time caregiver for my children.I desperately wanted to be that “super mum” who could do it all.Looking back today, I realise I must have had what I would describe as a mini breakdown.But I never shared how I was feeling with anyone.I didn’t ask for support. I didn’t reach out. I didn’t feel I had anyone I could truly talk to.I felt incredibly lonely and isolated.I was ashamed of how I felt.I wanted to appear strong. Capable. Like I could carry the world on my shoulders.And in many ways, I did.But at the same time, I completely neglected myself.I ignored my feelings. I pushed through exhaustion. I disconnected from my own needs.I realise now that I simply did not know how to take care of myself.That was my first — but not my only — experience with burnout.What I have learned since then is that so many of us make the mistake of pretending that we are holding everything together.The smiles. The laughter. The happy photos.Yet behind those smiles, there can be suffering. Loneliness. Exhaustion. Longing.Today, my message to myself and to others is this:<h3>Balance work life and personal life</h3>Reach out.Put yourself first sometimes.Because if you truly want to be that “super mum,” that successful professional, that strong leader — then you must learn how to take care of yourself too.Invest in yourself.<h3>Leadership coaching supports you to balance career and family</h3>Get support. Speak to someone. Work with a coach you genuinely connect with. Someone you feel safe enough to share your real inner world with.<a href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session" data-mce-href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session">Book a Call</a>Share. Talk. Open up.And allow someone to help you reconnect with yourself again.The version of you who understands that looking after yourself is not selfish.The version of you who realises that when you care for yourself properly, you become far more capable of showing up as the best version of yourself for everyone else around you.<a href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/1-1-coaching-2" data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/1-1-coaching-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">1:1 Leadership Coaching Programme</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<a data-mce-href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session" href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> Book a Call</a><a href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be" data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/step-into-the-leader-you-are-meant-to-be" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Leadership Group Programme</a>WarmlyJohanna<a href="https://www.who.int/standards/classifications/frequently-asked-questions/burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon" data-mce-href="https://www.who.int/standards/classifications/frequently-asked-questions/burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WHO's explanation of burnout</a> &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thetimes.com/business/entrepreneurs/article/i-got-sick-from-stress-at-27-now-i-run-a-1m-smoothie-firm-c0h8b6bz2" data-mce-href="https://www.thetimes.com/business/entrepreneurs/article/i-got-sick-from-stress-at-27-now-i-run-a-1m-smoothie-firm-c0h8b6bz2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Read about Elevate founder's Personal Story with burnout</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYeaRr3sgTq/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&amp;igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==" data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYeaRr3sgTq/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&amp;igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==" data-mce-selected="inline-boundary" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Video - A little of my story with burnout</a>

My first encounter with burnout and its early symptoms

From Self-Doubt to Self-Leadership The shift that changes how you show up as a leaderYou know what you’re doing. You have the experience. You’ve delivered results.And yet… there are moments.Moments where you hesitate. Moments where you hold back. Moments where, just before you speak or decide, a quiet voice steps in:“What if I get it wrong?” “What will they think?” “Maybe I should wait…”This is the part of leadership that no one really teaches you.Not how to perform. Not how to achieve. But how to lead yourself in those moments — when self-doubt shows up before confidence does.&nbsp; The reality of self-doubt (that most high-performing women don’t talk about) If you’re like many of the women I work with, self-doubt doesn’t look like a lack of capability.It looks like:Overthinking decisions you’re actually capable of making Holding back in meetings, even when you have something valuable to say Replaying conversations long after they’ve happened Questioning yourself — even when others trust you And over time, something subtle but important happens:You don’t just lose a moment. You start losing momentum.Because self-doubt doesn’t only show up in the moment — it follows you after the moment too.&nbsp; This is where the shift begins One of the most important realisations is this:It’s not that you’re not capable. It’s that self-doubt is getting there first.And when it does, it quietly influences your actions:You pause You delay You soften your voice Or you say nothing at all This is where self-leadership becomes essential.&nbsp; The moment of self-leadership In every situation, there is a pattern:Trigger → Inner interference → Choice → ActionMost people never notice the middle part — the interference: The internal dialogue that sounds like logic… but is actually fear.Self-leadership is not about eliminating that voice.It’s about recognising it early enough so it doesn’t decide for you.&nbsp; A practical shift: From reacting to leading In the masterclass, I introduced a simple but powerful tool:A.I.A. — Awareness. Interrupt. Act. 1. Awareness Catch the moment as it’s happening. Notice the hesitation. The overthinking. The pull to stay quiet.2. Interrupt Ask yourself a better question: “What am I actually afraid of?”Because when you name the fear, it loses power.3. Act Not perfectly. Not confidently. But early.One sentence. One decision. One step forward.&nbsp; What changes when you do this consistently You don’t suddenly become fearless.But you become:Quicker in your thinking Clearer in your communication More grounded in decisions Less controlled by “what if” And most importantly:You stop waiting to feel ready.&nbsp; What women often realise in this work From the reflections shared in the session, one theme stood out clearly:“Awareness is key to action.” Not confidence. Not perfection. Not having all the answers.Awareness.Because the moment you recognise: "This is self-doubt speaking" —You create space.And in that space… you have a choice.&nbsp; Self-leadership is not what you think It’s not about always feeling confident. It’s not about removing doubt completely.It’s about this:Not letting doubt make the decision for you.&nbsp; If you recognise yourself here… If you are:Leading others while quietly questioning yourself Overthinking decisions that should feel straightforward Holding yourself back more than others ever would Feeling the pressure of getting it “right” Then this is not something you “fix” with more knowledge.This is something you shift through how you lead yourself.&nbsp; A more personal invitation This is exactly the work I do in 1:1 coaching.Not theory. Not generic advice.But real, grounded work on:How you think in pressure moments How you make decisions How you communicate and show up How you build trust in yourself again A confidential space where you can:Think clearly Challenge your patterns And take practical, consistent action &nbsp; If you’re ready to move from: overthinking → clear action self-doubt → self-trust hesitation → leadershipThen I invite you to explore working together.1:1 Coaching with me A focused space to help you lead with clarity, confidence, and direction — in a way that feels aligned with who you are.Let's chat.<a data-mce-href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session" href="https://calendly.com/jpebc/coaching-session">Book a complimentary introductory call.&nbsp;</a>This is what other's have said about their coaching experience: <a data-mce-href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/reviews" href="https://johannaparnisengland.com/reviews">Reviews﻿</a>WarmlyJohanna

The shift from self-doubt to self-leadership

Johanna Parnis England