The Leadership Skill No One Talks About Enough: Receiving Feedback

The Leadership Skill No One Talks About Enough: Receiving Feedback
We often talk about how to give feedback as leaders.

We rarely talk about how to receive it.

And yet, the moment feedback lands — especially the uncomfortable kind — is one of the most defining moments in leadership.

Because feedback does not usually feel neutral.

It can feel vulnerable.
It can feel threatening.
It can feel like a personal attack.

Even the most experienced leaders can feel that internal shift: a tightening in the chest, a rush of defensiveness, the immediate urge to explain, justify, or correct the narrative.

This reaction is human.

But what we do next is leadership.

Why Feedback Feels So Personal
Feedback challenges more than behaviour — it often touches identity.

If I see myself as competent and capable, and someone questions my communication or my decision-making, it can feel like they are questioning me.

Our ego steps in to protect us.

We defend.
We rationalise.
We minimise.

But emotionally intelligent leadership asks for something different.

It asks us to pause.

To separate who we are from what we did.

To understand that feedback is not a verdict on our worth — it is information about impact.

The Leaders Who Grow Have a Thirst for Feedback
The strongest leaders I work with share a common trait:

They actively seek feedback.

Not because they enjoy discomfort.
But because they understand a fundamental truth:

Feedback is data.
Feedback is perspective.
Feedback is growth.

They know that without feedback, there is no refinement.
Without refinement, there is no development.
Without development, leadership stagnates.

Good leaders do not equate feedback with failure.
They equate it with learning.

They are curious rather than defensive.
Open rather than reactive.

That does not mean they do not feel triggered.

It means they have developed the capacity to regulate their emotions long enough to extract the learning.

Receiving Feedback Is an Emotional Intelligence Skill
Receiving feedback well requires:

Self-awareness — recognising your emotional reaction in real time
Emotional regulation — choosing not to respond from ego or fear
Empathy — understanding the perspective of the other person
Accountability — owning your impact without collapsing into shame
This is not weakness.

This is maturity.

And in today’s leadership landscape — where teams expect transparency, growth, and authenticity — this skill is non-negotiable.

Transformational Leadership Begins with Self-Leadership
If we cannot receive feedback, we cannot evolve.

If we cannot evolve, we cannot lead transformation.

Inside my upcoming L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. Programme starting on 26th February, we will be working deeply on this.

You will learn how to:

Receive feedback without becoming defensive
Regulate emotional reactions in the moment
Separate identity from behaviour
Turn challenging conversations into genuine leadership growth
Because transformational leadership begins with leading yourself first.

And sometimes, the most courageous leadership act is simply this:

Listening.
Without defending.
Without attacking.
Without shrinking.

Just listening.

And asking: What can I learn here?